How to Spot Financial Abuse?

Important: if you’re in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

Financial abuse, also known as economic abuse, is when somebody uses your money and/or your financial situation to control, manipulate, blackmail, or intimidate you.
Unfortunately, financial abuse rarely occurs in isolation. 95% of domestic abuse cases involve financial abuse alongside other forms of harm, including physical and emotional.

It’s vital to be aware that financial abuse can also take place outside of romantic relationships and can be carried out at the hands of a friend, family member, or even a carer.

How common is financial abuse?

8.7 million people in the UK state that they have experienced financial abuse, and it’s estimated that a survivor makes a report to the police every 20 minutes.
Anyone can be affected by financial abuse, regardless of their age, gender, ethnicity, or employment status. However, research shows that certain groups of people may be more vulnerable.

• As of 2023, as many as one in five women in the UK experienced financial abuse at the hands of a current or former partner.
• Men’s domestic abuse charity ManKind state that 29% of their callers are experiencing financial abuse.
• After neglect, financial abuse is the second most common type of elder abuse in the UK.
• Compared to white women, Black, Asian and women from ethnic minority backgrounds are almost twice as likely to experience financial abuse.
• The risk of being financially abused doubles for women who are disabled, compared to those who do not have a disability.

Signs of financial abuse

Sadly, only two out of every five people who experienced financial abuse were able to recognise the signs.
Like all types of abuse, the abuser’s behaviour might be subtle.
Abusers often have very clever ways of making their victims feel like the problem, or gaslighting them into believing that the treatment they’re receiving is somehow justified.
In addition to this, an abuser might try to disguise their behaviour as well-meaning, and may say things like:

• ‘I want what’s best for you.’
• ‘I’m doing this because I care.’
• ‘I just want to provide for you.’
• ‘You don’t need to worry about money; I’ve got everything under control.’
• ‘You know you’re not very good with money. It makes sense for me to handle the finances.’
• ‘I’ll look after the finances. That way we can work on saving for a new car/ kitchen/ holiday.’
• ‘If you really loved me, you’d let me look after the finances. You know it’s for the best.’

You might not realise that you’re being abused, which is why it’s really important to know the signs so that you can put boundaries in place to protect yourself.
Somebody who is financially abusing you might:

• Take money from you without your consent.
• Restrict your access to money.
• Tell you what you can and cannot spend your money on.
• Ask you to provide receipts every time you spend money.
• Closely check and control your spending.
• Withold important financial information from you, such as mortgage statements and bills.
• Refuse to pay their share of household bills.
• Avoid paying child maintenance.
• Apply for credit in your name, with or without your knowledge.
• Rack-up debts in your name, with or without your knowledge.
• Pressure you into becoming a guarantor on a credit product, such as a loan.
• Dictate your employment. They might ask you to work more hours or take on additional jobs to bring in more money or they could demand that you quit your job altogether.
• Ask that you change your will.
• Force you to sell a personal item, such as jewellery.

It’s important to note that these are limited examples of financial abuse. Everyone’s experiences are completely different. The bottom line is that if somebody makes you feel uncomfortable, intimidated, or puts pressure on you in regard to your money, it’s financial abuse.

What to do if you’re being financially abused

If you’re being financially abused, the points below could help you decide how and when to take the next steps towards removing yourself from the situation. We must stress that these steps must be taken at your own pace, if and when it is safe to do so.
If you are in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

1. Don’t suffer in silence
   When it comes to abuse, it can be easy to downplay our concerns. You might worry that you’re overreacting, that the treatment you’re receiving isn’t ‘that bad’, or that you have no reason to complain because others have it ‘worse.’ Abuse should never be downplayed, and every experience is unacceptable, regardless of how ‘minor’ you consider your treatment to be. There is no hierarchy of abuse, and just because you might consider somebody else to have it ‘worse’, it doesn’t mean that you should tolerate the way you’re being treated.
   Financially abusive behaviour needs to be stopped, or it could spiral into other types of abuse – if it hasn’t already.


2. Put it into perspective
   If you’re still struggling to understand the severity of the financial abuse you’re being exposed to, ask yourself how you’d feel if a friend told you that they were dealing with the same treatment from somebody they trust. How would you react? What would you advise? The chances are, you’d tell them to seek support and state that their abuser’s behaviour is wrong. Take this advice and apply it to yourself.


3. Get help
   If you’re being abused, it’s really important to tell someone you trust, such as a family member; friend; colleague; therapist; healthcare worker; or GP. Abuse, in any form, is serious, and you don’t have to deal with this on your own. Abusers often try to isolate their victims; so the more support you have around you, the better.
   If you’re not quite ready to reach out to someone you know, please know that there are a number of specialist charities and organisations who are trained to support people through all types of abuse. We’ve made a list of these resources at the bottom of the page.


4. Alert your bank
   Victims of financial abuse are more likely to report concerns to their bank than they are to the police. Most banks will have a designated financial abuse or vulnerable customer team who will be trained to deal with your concerns with empathy and professionalism. They will work with you to ensure that your money is protected. You can find out more about reporting financial abuse to your bank on Surviving Economic Abuse’s website.


5. Keep hold of any evidence
   If you plan to report the abuser, you might choose to keep copies or screenshots of bank transfers; text messages; bills; or credit applications as evidence.
   Again, please don’t do anything that could put you at risk. If the abuser is in the habit of going through your phone or personal documents, it might be safer to keep screenshots in a hidden, password-protected folder, or ask a trusted friend to store any paperwork at their house.


6. Plan ahead
   Removing yourself from a toxic situation, whether it involves a family member, friend, or romantic partner, can be scary, stressful, and emotionally challenging. You don’t need to make any decisions that you’re not happy with, and if you’re not in immediate danger, you should do things at your own pace, as and when you feel comfortable and safe. Putting a plan together, whether it’s short- or long-term, could help you feel more confident and give you some control over the situation. If you’re able to, you might wish to try and save up some money in an emergency fund that you keep separate from the abuser. You might also consider speaking to someone you trust about an ‘escape route’ in case of a crisis – this could include keeping some essential items or cash at a friend’s house in case you need to leave your home in a hurry.


7. If you need money in an emergency
   If you need money or food in emergency, please visit StepChange.

How to spot signs of financial abuse in others

Somebody who is being financially abused might:

• Withdraw from friends and family.
• Avoid situations where they’re required to spend money.
• Seem very anxious when spending money.
• Ask for and keep receipts and appear flustered if they can’t.
• Make comments about not being ‘allowed’ to spend money.
• Make sudden financial decisions that seem out of character, such as changing a will; reducing their working hours; or taking on extra work.
• Seem short of money or ask to borrow funds for essential items such as food, or to cover household bills.
• Ask for permission before they make a purchase. For example, if somebody was being financially abused by their partner, they might call them to ‘check’ whether it’s okay to buy a new jumper while out shopping.

Please note that the above list is not exhaustive; situations, and reactions vary massively. It’s also important to remember that the above behaviours could signal other types of abuse, or reflect non-abuse-related turmoil, such as general money concerns or personal difficulties.
If you suspect that something isn’t quite right with a loved one, reassure them that you’re there to support them, whatever they’re going through.

What to do if you think a loved one is being financially abused

Broaching the subject of abuse can be very difficult and upsetting for everyone involved. Here are some examples of things you could do to help someone going through financial abuse.

1. Offer your support
   If you suspect that someone you care about is struggling with something, you should approach the situation with tact. Avoid firing questions at them and demanding they tell you everything. Start by letting your loved one know that you’re there for them if and when they want to talk.
   You should be prepared for the fact that your loved one might not be ready to open up. If this is the case, it’s crucial to remain patient. Putting pressure on them to speak up or take action against the abuser could only add to the victim’s stress and cause them to withdraw from you.


2. Keep up communication
   Stay in regular contact with your loved one. Not only will this reassure them that they have ongoing support around them, but it could also alert you to any emergency situations.
   Abusers often try to isolate their victims, so keeping contact is vital.
   If your loved one does tell you about the abuse, you should establish a ‘safe’ way to communicate going forwards. Bear in mind that the abuser might have access to the victim’s phone, email, and social media accounts.


3. Stay calm
   Avoid talking badly about the abuser in front of the victim. You should also refrain from confronting or threatening the abuser, as this could put your loved one in danger.
   If you need to report any behaviours, be sure to speak with appropriate authorities, such as the police. Don’t try and take matters into your own hands.


4. Discuss financial help
   Try to sensitively ask whether the victim has access to essentials, such as food, clothes, and toiletries. If they don’t, and you’re in a position to do so, you might choose to offer them some emergency help.
   You could also direct them to their nearest food bank


5. Ask them what they want to do next
   Work on devising a plan of the next steps you can take, together. This could include recommending that your loved one talks to a specialist domestic/ financial abuse helpline (resources listed in the section below) or temporarily providing them with a safe place to stay.
   Your loved one might not know what they want to happen next, and that’s okay. For the time being, it might be enough for them to have simply had the courage to voice their concerns out loud.

Financial abuse help and support

If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, the following charities and organisations could be useful.*

You can report fraud, such as a partner taking out a loan in your name without your consent, to the police or Action Fraud. Additionally, free, confidential money and debt management advice can be accessed from the following websites:

• StepChange
• MoneyHelper
• Citizens Advice
• National Debtline

If you’re being abused, you might feel as though there’s no way out. When you do think about leaving, you may feel apprehensive and scared. Part of you might still love the abuser, despite what they’re putting you through.
These feelings are all totally normal, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. There is no right or wrong way to navigate this incredibly tough situation; you must do what’s best for you. Again – your safety and happiness are priority.

Despite what your abuser might tell you, abuse is not your fault, you don’t deserve it, and you are not alone.
Stay safe and stay strong – you are worthy of the life that’s waiting for you on the other side of this.